How to recoup on days when you (Feel PURPOSELESS)

Recently, I had a conversation with a family member. I asked her, “If she could do anything right now, what would she do?” She said, “ I don’t know.” I asked her the question again. However, this time I reframed it and said, “If you could go back to when you were 17 before you graduated high school, what path would you have taken, or what work would you be doing now?

But, she still recited the same response, “I don’t know, I don’t even try to make plans anymore because nothing ever goes as planned.”  

Then I thought to myself and remembered when I felt just like her. As time passed and the day went on, I started doing other things, completely forgetting about the conversation I had earlier. Later that night, I was in my room, and the question popped into my head again. “If you could go back in time, where would you be currently?” I started thinking about all the paths and possibilities I’ve ever considered. I grabbed my pen and paper and began listing everything I could think of.

Intrigued and a little curious, I asked myself all the questions like:

• If I were living in another country, what work would I want to be pursuing?
• If I were serving someone, who, what, and where would it be?
• If life is a vapor of time, what would I want to do with my time left?

Through each question, I was able to dig a bit deeper and build on the previous answer. I was interested to see what path I would choose. To say, I ended up with two options.

Let’s go back to the beginning.

Do you remember as a child always letting your imagination run wild? Your mind was free from barriers, obstacles, burdens, worries, or troubles. Often tapping into what you loved and enjoyed doing, and when someone asked you what you wanted to be when you grew older, you immediately had an answer. As a child, your dreams felt so real that you could imagine yourself doing them one day. But as you got older and time progressed, your dreams faded slowly, and you became less and less free.

Why? Because you were so excited about your dreams that you began telling anyone who would listen. Having dreams is exciting, so exhilarating that you want to tell everyone. Telling your dreams to everyone, until one person shot your dream down and altered your confidence. Making you doubt your capability, whether it was a stupid idea, or if it was even worth the effort, because it didn’t seem realistic or practical to others

Ever since, you’ve been struggling with feeling stagnant and stuck, trying to understand your sense of purpose. Waking up saying phrases like, “There has to be more than this”, or “When will things change and get better”, recognizing that you want to do something you love and enjoy. Because you stopped dreaming so early, you realize that you don’t even know what you want to do. 

These days, understanding yourself, your hobbies, and even what you like to do seems tough. Oftentimes, it becomes frustrating when you don’t know where you’re going, leading you to feel overwhelmed and not wanting to be bothered with it. Every day feels like the same process. You want to change, but something is holding you back. 

Ultimately, what’s holding you back is the lack of purpose in your life. A person with a sense of purpose wakes up knowing each day they get to help others that only they can reach with their gifts, talents, and abilities. Others wouldn’t necessarily be able to reach in the same way. Still, people who walk in their purpose have hard days. However, being able to walk in your purpose is a blessing.

Perhaps, you feel like you lack purpose because something is missing. Whatever the reason, it’s important to note when these emotions and thoughts first occurred. Ask yourself, “What is really behind your feeling a lack of purpose?” Naturally, some of the reasons for feeling a lack of purpose may include:

• Anxiousness
• Disconnected
• Indecisiveness
• Lack of clear goals
• Lack of focus
• Lack of mental clarity
• Overanalyzing
• Stuck in the past
• Unmotivated
• You just haven’t found it yet

How to recoup when it feels like you lack purpose.

The word recoup means to regain or reclaim to make up for something that was lost. Your purpose has always been in you. It’s the thing that tugs on you, keeps you up at night. It’s the thing that you always care about and worry about that makes you react passionately.

The thing that you keep suppressing keeps resurfacing. Your purpose will be distinctively related and aimed at the people who need you. Say farewell to the days when it feels like you lack purpose and take ownership of what you were called to do.

Stop reminiscing.

If you keep looking back, you can never move forward. It’s good to look back sometimes to recall where you were and recognize how far you’ve come. However, if you stay there, you will always be there. Take some time to look forward to the future.

Become someone who can smile at the future ahead, even with the uncertainties of life. Start to make plans and dream of all the places you want to go and all the things you want to do. Don’t turn off your brain when something seems too outrageous or nearly impossible. Just keep going and let the past stay in the past.

Life is full of lessons.

You are still learning every day. There will never be a point in your life when you know everything. So, withstand the desire to stop, stagnate, or stay stuck.

Remember, life is full of lessons- some are hard and some are easy. You can learn from any situation, person, or circumstance. Be mindful and observe the patterns, lessons, and outcomes of the people around you or closest to you, then see and decide what direction you want to go in life.

Dare to dream.

Remember those daydreams, they’re indicators of what you want to do. When your mind drifted off into imagining something that seemed so far-fetched, it probably felt impossible. However, this was most like you, and you had a glimpse of what you wanted in that moment.

Dare to dream bigger and stop limiting yourself. Even if nobody understands your dream, know that’s okay. They’re not supposed to, and maybe they never will.

Fill your space.

Start filling up your space with things that you like or enjoy. Make time for a new hobby or two. This way, you fully understand your likes and dislikes.

Make a list of everything you like to do, then start small by implementing one into your schedule. Over time, you can add more, beginning with the one you enjoy the most.

It’s okay to fail.

Failure is just a part of the process. The number of times you will have to fall before you stand up straight- each person has their number. Life has its checks and balances.

You can’t achieve success without failure because you have to know how to fail so you’ll know how to win. Don’t let failure get you down- each time you fall is an opportunity to learn. Therefore, remain open-minded and count it as a win because you’ll know what not to do next time.

Our dreams are free and cost us nothing to believe. Hence, it’s up to us to achieve and make our dreams a reality. If you want to change your circumstances, only you can do it. It won’t happen through the hands or work of anyone else.

It’s okay that you aren’t where you want to be today. Still, you can make small steps to get where you want to be tomorrow. When you are feeling a lack of purpose, everything else feels discontent. Keep pressing on and moving forward to recoup on the days when it feels like you lack purpose. Take your time.